Shopping for a New Mom

Little D does this thing when we go out in public where he shops for a new mom. A mom who will be more like his vision of “the perfect mom”. At the supermarket on Monday, he found two possible candidates and later that evening when Big Daddy invited one of the medical students over for dinner, Little D was sure he had found “the one”. Seconds after she walked in the door, he announced “I love her”. Signed, sealed and delivered!

The thought of being replaced used to have me running scared, but Monday as we walked through the market collecting the staples, like Oreo cookies, Ice cream and Diet Coke, I decided this idea of shopping for a “mom” might not be such a bad idea. A “mom” right here in New Zealand might be just what Little D and I both need. So up and down the aisles, amid the canned goods and bakery offerings, I shopped too.

I’m not sure how Little D makes his picks, what kind of selection process he goes through, but I started my search with the contents of their trolley. If they didn’t have a trolley, they were automatically eliminated based on the assumption that the pantry would resemble the contents of the trolley and without one I couldn’t tell. If the items in the trolley passed the test and included, the basic necessities and then some treats thrown in, I looked at the shopper themselves. The too old and too young were quickly eliminated and then I was left to watch how they shopped. Lose the “mom”’s who use a list, and gone were the chicks who couldn’t decide. I looked for a smile or “that certain look” in their eye. You know “the look”, the one that tells you she will listen patiently when you need it and tell you to stop whining when that is what is called for. The mom who will fill your freezer full of ready meals and drive your kids around in your convertible VW beetle for a week while you soak up the sun with your husband on a tropical island far away. The mom who shows she cares with phone calls and packages and forwarding of clever emails. A mom who has a candy cupboard and white bread when you go to visit. A mom who is always up for a “project” no matter how big (helping you move across the world) or small (finishing the easter dresses where all you had left do was hem them).

Vinny and I left the supermarket with only the food staples we had come for (and an extra treat or two) and when we got back to the house and I looked forward to my planned skype later that afternoon with the chick I knew was perfect for the “mom” job. She never leaves the market without a full trolley and she has exactly “the look” I was searching for. As it turns out, she doesn’t live in New Zealand, but half way across the world. And that will have to be good enough for now.

Overjoyed

I went for the most fabulous walk/run yesterday. The sun was shining through cotton candy clouds and the sky was the most amazing shade of blue. It was another true "pinch me" moment where I felt extremely grateful. Grateful to be here in New Zealand. Grateful to experience the people, the culture and the incredible beauty that is in every direction. Like one of my favorite songs, I was struck how,

“All of the world is designed to remind you
All of the light you could find is inside, under
All of the noise, and here’s your chance to be overjoyed?”
-Christine Kane, Overjoyed

And with the noise gone, surrounded by a world designed to remind me, for those 45 minutes I truly felt OVERJOYED!

Show of Nature

Living in New Zealand has taught me many things. Some simple like, don't waste the sunshine and that Boy Scouts have the right idea: Always be prepared! In my case it's prepared with a full tank of gas because you never know where the next petrol station will be and with a gold coin for parking and always have toilet paper for your seven year old who still has to see every public restroom, even the outhouses. Another lesson New Zealand has taught me is that just because it is raining right here, does not mean it is raining everywhere. And sometimes the bad weather brings the spectacular.

On Saturday we took off to see more of the coastline we still have not seen. We came across a little place called Cosy Nook and followed a dirt road for some time and arrived at the nook. It was a little bay with rocks jutting out of the iridescent blue water like clothes thrown haphazardly on the floor of my daughters' room. It was lightly sprinkling and the wind was blowing as it always does along the coast here, showing it's mighty power and reminding me how small I truly am.

We ate our picnic lunch and enjoyed nature's spectacular "show". Out of the cloud, a rainbow fell into the water. The wind slammed the water into the scattered rocks and magnificent sprays of water hit the air. Micaela wanted to venture out on some of the boulders and she and Brandon took off. Common sense won out over adventure in the end for her but I watched Brandon scramble over rocks and jump over incoming waves to reach a little island. He stood for a long time watching the waves hit and feeling the power of nature and when I reminded him the tide was coming in and if he didn't head back the only alternative would be to swim, he scrambled back to safety.

A couple of weeks ago, I called a tramping company to talk about reservations for Micaela and I to tramp the Milford Sound Track. The lady helping me told me that the best times to go are in the early season in Nov and late season in March because they have wetter weather then. She said the worse the weather the more spectacular the trail.

We drove home along the coast Saturday and I thought how my life feels like a spectacular "show" of nature right now, waves crashing, wind blowing and gray clouds dumping rain on a regular basis. Every once in a while I get the rainbow dropping out of the cloud and the sun shines through absolutely brilliantly on occasion. Sometimes I am lucky enough that the brilliant sunshine coincides with a high point to look out, and I get a glimpse of the bigger picture. And other times, I give in and trust the power that is greater than myself and hope for the magnificent and spectacular outcomes that often come on the other side of the bad weather.

To All the Well Meaning People

To the well meaning lady in the grocery store who asked me if I couldn't just give sulking, whining Little D something because he looked so sad and he is such a good wee man,
Seriously???

To the well meaning grocery store clerk who wanted to know if he couldn't just have one little lolli so he might stop crying,
I can't quite hear you because of all the noise he's making.

To the well meaning Nursery Leader who in the midst of a Little D's tantrum in the foyer keeps telling him what a good little boy he is and wants me to tell him what a nice little boy he is as well,
We're not establishing eternal worth here, just taking care of current unacceptable behavior. I get it, if you don't maybe you could just step aside and leave me to it.

To my well meaning friend who brings books and puzzles and snacks for Little D to get us through church,
This is my first time with a two year old in church, why didn't I think of that? (I say with the greatest of sarcasm while I hand them back)

To the well meaning driver who honked his horn as I was driving the speed limit yesterday,
Thanks for reminding me I am a law abiding citizen on occasion.

To my well meaning teenager who stayed after school practicing basketball without my knowledge while I drove frantically up and down every street in Invercargill looking for you,
Sincere thanks for trying to text me, your phone will be delivered shortly and I will program the correct number in for you. (I say as I'm on my way to the mobile phone store, and she genuinely did try to text, just got the number wrong!)

To the well meaning birth mom who keeps emailing and asking when she will be able to skype with Little D,
You've had your opportunity and screwed up everything possible. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE

To my well meaning husband who takes the dirty dishes out of my hands and leads me to the bathroom where he has drawn a bath complete with bubbles, candles, and the book I am reading,
Thank you- I love you!